Feelings of anxiety/anger/stress and simple techniques

anger
Hello! 

 Quick note: this post is not about generalised anxiety disorder as a clinical issue, but is about feelings of anxiety (and anger and stress) and simple ways to try and manage this.

Alright, so feelings of anxiety/anger/stress are natural responses that we all go through, but not all of us can get out of those feelings easily. Some people have anxiety so bad that they can experience a panic attack.

Such feelings are a result of what we go through in our mind. But, when our mind experiences something, our body likes to work in parallel, producing a physical response. You'll notice your heart beat faster, feel hot and sweaty, get a burst of energy, feel tense, breathe heavier.. and so on. That is because your body is releasing adrenaline and cortisol in preparation for the evolutionary fight or flight response. 

 What's that? Back in the day our ancestors would have to try harder to survive and may come across many different life threatening situations, for example, a wild bear. So what do they do? They get stressed/anxious about the situation and their body would respond to allow them to: fight the bear OR run away from the bear (flight). Of course, in the modern age we don't have many adaptive functions for this response as we typically don't fight or run away from our problems. For example, if you are stressed about an exam.. you can't fight it or run away from it (strictly speaking - I mean you could run out the exam hall if you really wanted to..)


http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/exchange/node/8347
Due to this, our stress response can seem like it lingers on and make us feel worse - because we aren't making use of our physical response the way evolution intended it to be done. This is why we might do stupid things in the heat of the moment. For example, making the rash decision to start an argument with someone, hurt someone's feelings, quit a job, throw things at a wall.. etc.
So, what can we do about this physical reaction our body is producing without being harmful for anyone? We can try to de-stress and calm down. Not only do we need to calm down in our mind, but our body too (which will automatically calm down your mind). They both work in sync, if you calm one the other will respond similarly.

 Three de-stressing techniques:

1) Breathing activity (helps clear your head and relax you):
Inhale from your nose for five seconds, and exhale from your mouth for ten seconds. Do this about three times and you’ll notice a great relief. You can also do this while picturing a relaxing scene in your mind (e.g. a quiet beach). You can especially do this when you feel extremely angry to help prevent you from making any hasty decisions. Doing this in other situations like before going into an exam, doing a presentation or going to a social event (if you face social anxiety) can help calm the nerves too.

2) Chocolate:
Have you ever heard the saying “chocolate makes you happy”? Well it’s true! Eating chocolate releases endorphins (a happy hormone) which elevate the mood. Therefore, eating some chocolate can also de-stress you. It’s one of the reasons people comfort eat! BUT, don’t use that as an excuse to binge out on chocolate! As with everything else, chocolate needs to be consumed within moderation (unfortunately).

3) Exercise:
There are other ways to release endorphins too, with one of them being exercise. Have you ever noticed how energetic and optimistic you feel after a work out? That is of course when you haven’t worked out to your maximum potential and feel drained! You’ll be surprised at the mental wellbeing benefits that exercise has, with de-stressing being one of them. You don't need to have a full training session at the gym; going for a quick jog or having a rave to music in your room is great. Just get your heart racing and feel yourself cheer up!

Long-term stress can suppress our immune system, so try to de-stress as often as you can. Remember that these feelings are in our heads.. meaning we are in control of them. If we learn to pick up on when we think we're going to reach our limit, we will be able to learn to counteract this and prevent ourselves from going through the nasty experience. Hope this helps any of you to relax those nerves!

Stay chilled like an ice-cube (yes, yes, I actually just said that),
Ayesha xxx

Tips for starting university!

Freshers
Hello!

 So September/October is approaching and lots of you will be starting UNIVERSITY! Eeek!!
Being a fairly recent graduate (wow, don't I feel old!) I felt sharing some tips for freshers would be good. Adjusting to a new city, place and people can be overwhelming, exciting and daunting all at the same time. Hopefully, some of my tips can prove useful for you!

 Just a quick point, these are only my opinion and many tips are targeted for those who are moving out. 

1) Create a packing/shopping list.
This is very important.. you will surprised at how much you will be taking and what things you'll need that you didn't think you would. The key to this is planning; if you plan before hand it will save any possible crisis when you get there ("Oh no, I forgot my towels"). Also, not all places have the same things (e.g. a toaster, iron), so check by contacting your accommodation. This might be different if you are living in catered halls. You may also need a few passport photos (for your student ID etc) and relative documents (just in case), e.g. your UCAS letter.

2) Don't be afraid to make friends!
I cannot stress the importance of this. Remember, pretty much everyone is in the same boat as you.. it will be a new environment for everyone. Everyone will want to make friends, so don't be afraid to go out there and strike up a conversation with 'that person on my course'.

3) Make peace with your flatmates. 
This carries on with the previous point. If you are living in halls or any accommodation with new people, it will be best for everyone involved to get on with each other, especially if you're in shared bathrooms. Flat mate troubles can be very problematic, so if you have a good understanding and are friendly from the start, your first year living with them will go much more smoothly. You might even find your flat mates become your main friends during uni; even friends for life. Mine certainly did!

4) Join societies and/or sports clubs.
This is a fantastic way of meeting new people and making friends. Some of the people you'll meet there might turn out to be friends for life. It's also a great way of keeping busy, and who knows.. learning a new skill! You could even take up a sport you've always wanted to do. Try something new, something you wouldn't even think you'd be good at. It'll also give you a break from studying and any other stress you might have. Live the uni experience to the full by doing things that develop you as a person.

5) Eat well.
I can understand that fast-food can be very appealing, especially if you don't like cooking. But, not only is all that pizza and those chicken wings unhealthy, they are very costly too (in the long-term). Think about how much you could be saving. Also, don't be shocked if you put on a ridiculous amount of weight if all you eat is a burger every day. Be smart with your food choices, you'll need the energy to stay active and.. study (yes, you'll have to study).

6) Sleep at appropriate times.
Don't miss your lectures because you didn't sleep when you should have. You need your sleep, but at the right times. And you also need to attend your classes. Constant sleep deprivation will only slow you down in the long term.

7) Learn to budget.
Money doesn't grow on trees and neither does your student loan. Just because you have a healthy account balance when your student loan comes in doesn't give you the right to freely spend it on ridiculous things. That money is there to last you for a number of months, not weeks. Learn to budget and write down your spending to get an estimate of how much you use per week, and how to reduce unecessary buying. Remember, you need money for food, so maybe forget that Topshop dress you saw. Also, not everyone gets a grant/bursary (I certainly did NOT!!) so look after your money! You will probably have to fit in accommodation fees too!

8) Label your items/food.
Somebody is BOUND to steal some your milk in the fridge, as with your cutlery. Make sure you label anything that is put in a communal area. Yes you can't label cutlery, but keep them in a locked draw and put them away soon after washing up. People do steal and of course won't admit to it. Similarly, don't use other peoples stuff without their permission!

9) Sign up to your local surgery/doctors! 
Fresher's flu is a lot more common than you think. And you don't even know when you might get ill, so make sure you are registered!

10) Trust wisely.
Making friends with everyone you know is fine, but, don't trust everyone. The company you are in can affect your decisions largely, so BE WISE. Don't forget your morals and what you believe in. Spontaneity is good, but don't make decisions that you know you'll regret later. 

11) Stay true to yourself.
Be yourself. Don't change who you are to please others or fit in. At uni, there is a chance you WILL find someone who'll want to be your friend, so don't waste your time on people who don't appreciate you. There are so many people that it's impossible to not make friends! After all, uni is about developing you, not changing you. It's a chance to grow and understand who you are better than ever.

12) Accept that people change.
This is something you won't realise till a little later, but you should be aware of the fact that PEOPLE DO CHANGE. Maybe it's not more of them 'changing', but more of them 'revealing their true selves'. So, like I said earlier, trust wisely. Who you thought is your best friend might actually not be after all. That is a harsh truth - you'll learn that yourselves.

13) STUDY!
Yes, you WILL have to study. Don't forget why you are at university in the first place. Be lenient with yourself, that's fine, but don't compromise your education. Make sure you don't leave your work to the last minute because IT WILL COME BACK AND BITE YOU. There's no point in having all the fun in the world if you're geared towards a fail.

Just imagine yourself on your graduation day, receiving your degree, and how much you want to work to achieve that.. the hard work will then come automatically! During my final exams I just kept that goal in mind and didn't think of anything else.. then I just worked and worked and worked like there was no tomorrow!

14) Stay positive
Please remember that there is always help available if you need it. If you are feeling low/sad/anxious, make sure you tell someone about it. Things will get better. Talk to your personal tutor or someone you can trust, help is always available.

15) MOST IMPORTANTLY! HAVE FUN!
University can be the best time of your life. I can only begin to express how much I miss everything during that time. There will be ups and downs but it will be a great learning experience. You'll discover yourself in many ways and grow as an individual. Make sure you're having fun, staying safe and appreciating your time there. Those years of your youthful life won't come back, so live it to its fullest. Do things you wouldn't do otherwise and respect every moment. Make sure your uni life is something you want to remember for the rest of your life!

My BSc graduation! Proud moment!
Hope you can take something on board with these tips! The uni experience is different for everyone, these were just a number of starting points I touched on. If things get too tough for you, don't be afraid to reach out and ask for help (whether it is emotional, academic or financial). There are always options available. Your life is what you make it. Don't be nervous and be ready for the time of your life!

Stay happy,
Ayesha xxx


Visiting the sea life centre

animals
Hello lovelies!

 I'm a big lover of nature, whether it's plants, animals or sea creatures (maybe not the creepy bugs though). I have always loved seeing animals at the zoo/safari park, but I realise that now that I'm older I don't get to do these things so often. So, recently my friend and I decided it was time for a trip to the sea life centre!

It was an absolutely exciting and fun trip, definitely my money's worth. When I heard they have penguins, I was sold. I literally enjoyed seeing the penguins up SO close and watching them come and interact with me (through the glass barrier - they weren't left open).

They also had ray fishes, which I adore because I think they are so majestic. They way they're essentially just 'chilling' in the water but moving at same time, fascinates me.

 Jellyfish are another favourite. They had many varieties of jellyfish and each were exceptional to look at. I think I'm a massive kid when I'm around animals haha. I think I was more excited than most of the kids that were there (which was 90% of the visitors)!

I really want to plan a trip to the safari park soon. It all depends on whether the safari parks close early when the cold weather returns to the UK. Do you love sea creatures? If so, what's your favourite animal?

 Lots of love and hugs,
Ayesha xxx

Poem on mental health stigma

Anorexia

Hello!

I have something special to share today. I wrote a poem on mental health stigma, a cause which I feel STRONGLY about. Here we are:
Mental Health Stigma

"He's hearing voices? What a freak", they say, judging a person when they have no right
"She's mad, stay away from her", they say, thinking she might violently pick up a fight
But schizophrenia is not something that should define who you are
The suffering and trouble you experience is already enough to scar


"Get a grip and be a man", they say, having no idea how suicidal you feel
"Other people have worse problems", they say, not knowing how you cope and deal
But depression isn't something to be taken so lightly
It's a time when it feels there is no light shining brightly


"Stop trying to lose weight, you're not fat", they say, without thinking that you don't perceive that to eat at ease
"I can see your ribs, that's disgusting", they say, having no clue that you don't see what they see
But anorexia isn't something that means you're selfish and vain
In fact, there's more to it, particularly a lot of pain


"Why are you so awkward and irritable at parties", they say, not understanding that social situations are tough
"Stop worrying so much and always being on edge", they say, failing to see that you’ve already had enough
But anxiety doesn't come with a manual on how to cope
Often you can't do much but sit around and mope


Because mental health problems cannot be paraded on your sleeve
They’re much more common than most of us believe
Discriminating against someone when you haven't walked in their shoes
Labelling them as 'weak' without knowing the cause for their blues


Do we think that's appropriate, would you like to be treated that way?
Each person is priceless, so let your negative thoughts go away
If our bodies can get sick, then why can't our mind?
Health is not only physical, it is social and mental combined


Stigma needs to be reduced, awareness needs to be spread
What if one day you suffer, have you thought that far ahead?
Support, love and care, may be all that they need
Be more accepting, that is all I plead


If they’re seeking treatment, shouldn't you be proud?
They have realised something is wrong, they just need help to be found
Mental health problems need to be further understood, isn't that true?
Learn to be more open-minded, that's the least you can do.

Ayesha Shahid

"Keep your head above the clouds, but your feet on the ground" - Photo taken in Tenerife


Thanks for reading. There's not much more that I want to say, other than that I hope I can help reduce stigma associated around these issues.

Take care lovely people!
Ayesha xxx